


What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

by wrecklessrighter



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Klaroline, Valentine's Day, klaus and caroline - Freeform, klaus x caroline - Freeform, vday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:03:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5977792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrecklessrighter/pseuds/wrecklessrighter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone wants their Valentine's day to be memorable. Including Caroline. But not exactly THIS memorable...</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilbreck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbreck/gifts).



> So I want you to know, when I found out you were my valentine I wanted to make sure I worked super hard on this and that is was worthy of your receiving. That said...Happy Valentine's day, darling! Here's hoping yours is better than Klaus and Caroline's. :P

"Happy Valentine's Day, love."  
  
Caroline smiled at the man at her door, her heart swelling with an abundance of love. And it wasn't just because of the day. She was full and well in love with Klaus. Yes, _Klaus_. The infamous psychotic hybrid serial killer that had terrorized her town while still finding time to charm the pants off of her. Literally.  
  
Sure, he had promised her he would leave and never return after that little tumble in the leaves. But he'd also promised he'd be her last, however long it took. Which wasn't long because once you have sex with Klaus Mikaelson, nothing else will ever hold a candle to it. Not even sex with a Salvatore, which, by the way, didn't impress her as much as it had seemed to impress both Katherine and Elena. Maybe it was a doppelgänger thing.  
  
In front of her he stood regally at 5'11, donned in a long black pea coat with leather underneath, and under that a thin grey t-shirt. Layers. He was all about them, and she loved to peel away at them. Metaphorically and not. Normally he'd shave for a formal event, but she'd told him not to. She loved the light blonde beginnings of stubble. Loved how it looked, loved how it felt. Especially against her thighs. His curls were tousled with gel, his dimples were agonizingly apparent, and his eyes were all for her. _Perfect_. she thought. Just so beyond annoying at times that she had to wonder how she'd fallen so hard.  
  
On the flip side, she was wearing a strapless baby pink dress with a pleated bodice, a chain of silver and pearls around her neck and had let her blonde curls cascade over her shoulders. Her strappy silver heels gave her a few inches of height and accentuated her already long legs which she knew Klaus favored.  
  
She leaned in, laying her hands against his collar and kissed him on the cheek. "Happy Valentine's day, Klaus."  
  
He smiled happily enough to turn his ears pink and before he forgot he held the bouquet he was hiding out to her - calla lilies because they were her favorite, and roses for romance. She beamed as she took them and gestured him in, eyeing the pink cellophane wrapped plate he held along the way. Baked goods? That was new.  
  
"Just give me a sec, I have to grab my coat."  
  
He nodded and set the plate down on the coffee table and looked around her apartment. It had been almost a year since she'd moved to New Orleans, and though he'd offered her a place in his home when she appeared at his door, she refused. She agreed to giving him his chance at winning her heart, but on her own terms. That meant building a home and a life for herself. And she'd done quite an exquisite job of it.  
  
The apartment was chic, modern but still held a rustic almost bohemian feel to it. Most of the surfaces were wood, and colors could be found everywhere brightening up the place. Paintings hung on every wall, some gifted to her by Klaus himself, and some knockoff pop art designs she'd found in the Quarter for a bargain. A cozy couch where they'd spent many a night watching what Caroline deemed quality trash TV took up one wall, and the 40" flat screen she allowed him to buy her took up the other. She'd taken the brick laden room and transformed it into a modernized living space complete with patterned and floral accents, all complementary rather than clashing. She kept fresh flowers in all of the rooms, mostly because he insisted on giving them whenever he had the opportunity. The place was over a century old but the way she'd designed it made it look like it had just been built and especially for her. 

But what he always admired most about it was the framed drawing that sat on the quirky antique end table beside the couch, just under the lamp as if it were being showcased. It was the one he had sketched for her the night she changed his fate, offering brutal honesty and making him realize the man he could be as opposed to the man he was. The first time he'd seen it, she told him how she almost shredded it once. But her heart had other ideas. He smiled at the image just in time for her return.

"Okay. Ready."

Arm in arm they headed out.  

* * * * * * * * * * 

Caroline had loved New Orleans from the moment she set foot in it. It was so alive and full of culture and music, and, admittedly, genuine beauty. Yes, he was all about his promises, and yes he had fulfilled every one. Didn't mean she couldn't begrudge him her confession of agreement. The city was always bustling with noise in a way that was totally contradictory to the silence of Mystic Falls. Everything was vibrant and colored, adorned with banners and big lettering of all shapes, sizes, and thickness. Nothing was grey or dull or uniform like her home. It was wild, random and completely overwhelming. In the best way. And in those times when she'd lost her breath in the swarm, Klaus was always there to help her catch it.

This would be the first official Valentine's day they would spend together. They were both at a point where they knew it was nothing more than a petty holiday endorsed by  _Hallmark,_ but neither would admit to the other the actual importance the date held for them.

At his insistence, they had kept their relationship low key when in public and kept their dating private within the confines of her apartment or the compound. His paranoia and fear were in overdrive and her safety in a town that hated him was his highest priority. So this occasion would mark more for them than just an profession of their undying devotion. It was the first time they would publicly reveal to the city that they were in love and a deeper part of each others' lives.

The restaurant Caroline had chosen was the fanciest in the French Quarter. Tables covered in fine linen with cloth napkins and more utensils than she would never have known what to do with if she weren't the debutant of Mystic Falls. The menus were in French and wine was poured almost the same moment they were seated but they became too immersed in the music to remember it. A live band was filling the establishment with soft, jazzy melodies with a gentle thrum from the bass while little notes of romance crooned from the saxophone and into the heart of every patron. The piano added soul to the arrangement and soon the entire restaurant was captivated. 

They were brought out of their trance once the aroma of their arriving food hit them. Caroline picked up a fork to start and Klaus finally lifted his wine glass to whet his palate. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

Caroline's fork dug into the _Chicken Pontalba_ on her plate. Just as Klaus was bringing his glass to his lips, the poultry slipped and a spurt of _béarnaise_ shot across the table straight toward his eye. The heat of the sauce seared his brow and he dropped his glass with a yelp, the pale yellow liquid spilling over the table.

"Oh my god!" She leapt from her seat. "Klaus, I'm so sorry!"

He yowled as he held his eye, grunting through gritted teeth as he pushed away from the table and groaned as his hand began to burn from the wet fabric.

Caroline rounded the table with a frown. "Is it really that bad?" 

With a growl he showed her his palm and she gasped. The skin was blistering with 2nd degree burns already on their way to healing. When he moved his hand from his eye it exposed reddened skin burning away from his cheekbone. She covered her mouth, horror stricken. It was almost as if he'd been struck with... _vervain_.  
  
The restaurant was silent, looking on in curiosity. Klaus hung his head and moved his seat back, carefully avoiding the vervain soaked table. Caroline looked around, noticing all the the prying eyes and retook her seat too.   
  
"Bloody witches." He sighed as the pain finally receded and he started to heal. "I should have known better than to come here." 

She frowned sympathetically. "Are you okay?"  
  
He squinted at her. "That depends. I can't see very well with this eye, is that my date asking or an aspiring eye gouger?"

She frowned momentarily until his lips lifted upwards in a smirk. Her shoulders fell and she rolled her eyes. "Very funny."

He chuckled softly, blinking away the burn. "Suffice it to say we won't be eating our dinner."  
  
She frowned at her plate, touching the chicken just to be sure and hissed when her fingertip blistered with tiny first degree burns. "Seriously? Who vervains their  _food_?"  
  
"The witches in these parts have a very adverse response to vampires. And we're in their territory, uninvited."

"So, what, we have to be  _invited_ to come have dinner here? It's an public establishment!"

"Where vampires are unwelcome. Or do you need more clarification?" He gestured to their table.

She sat back, sulking. "I just wanted the night to be perfect and now it's ruined."  
  
"It's my own fault. I shouldn't have brought you here."  
  
"You didn't know. And I was the one that got vervain in your eye." She huffed with a pout. "I'm such a clutz."  
  
He half smiled, endeared by the bloom in her cheeks. "What do you say we try to salvage the night and find somewhere more accommodating?"  
  
Caroline looked up, eyes dazzling with regained hope. She smiled, nodding. "Yeah."

* * * * * * * * * * 

Deciding not to test their luck any further in the Quarter, Klaus took Caroline out by the Bayou instead to a popular night club. There they safely dined on small appetizers, and bourbon and passionfruit vodka - respectively - that  _weren't_ laced with anti-vampire venom. Soon their moods had elevated and they took to the dance floor. The night was on the rise once again as their movement meshed with the music and the alcohol induced a sense of weightlessness. It was turning out to be a perfect Valentine's day after all. 

And then it happened.

_Snap!_

Just as Klaus had spun her, Caroline's left foot went sideways and the three inch heel cracked. She felt her body sway off balance but he was already pulling her back in and she saw the world go sideways. She stumbled to try to find her footing and grabbed at air for anything that would steady her. At last her hands found the soft fabric of Klaus' shirt to cling to and just as she started pulling herself back to the surface...

_Riiiiip!_

Caroline's jaw dropped at the gaping hole she'd made baring his chest. Klaus looked down and saw her face to face with his skin and started to try to pull her back up to eye level but his arms had bunched the fabric of her dress and suddenly her lace panties bared it all to the world. Caroline felt the rush of cool wind against her ass and squealed a gasp.   
  
"Klaus!" 

His heart jumped when his hand lowered and found flesh and in an instant he let his arms loose so her dress would fall back in place. He blinked furiously, abashed, and almost forgetting the giant tear in his shirt. Caroline looked around discreetly to see if anyone had noticed then laughed when she saw his shirt in shambles. 

"Oh god, I'm the worst," she laughed, burying her face in her hands as he hugged her to him to hide the hole.   
  
Klaus could only smile as his little blonde coquette shook in his arms. "Is your ankle all right?"  
  
She nodded, panting as she held his arms. "Yeah. My shoe, on the other hand..." She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and dropping her head to his chest. "God, I must be like a bad luck charm tonight or something."

"Yes. Evidently bringing you out in public was the wrong choice." She scoffed and hit his chest with a laugh. He smirked and wrapped an arm around her, walking back to their table to retrieve their coats. "Let's get you back home where it's safe."

* * * * * * * * * * 

Caroline sighed miserably as he walked her to her door. "This is has been the worst Valentine's Day ever."  
  
Klaus smiled politely. "At least we endured it together."  
  
"You mean _you_ endured it. You probably hate me right now."  
  
"Why would I hate you?"  
  
"I nearly blinded you _and_ tore your shirt."  
  
"Now that one I'm not entirely convinced was an accident." She rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself. "Regardless, they were both minor felonies. And now," he grinned roguishly, laying a hand at the small of her back to draw her close, "you can spend the rest of the evening making it up to me."

She smiled up into his hope filled eyes and let the distance between them close as his lips brushed hers in the gentlest of kisses. Her arms locked around his neck as she let him convince her with the expert movements of both lip and tongue until a little moan surprised them both. It was Caroline who made the sound and blushed when they broke away. With a little laugh she turned and unlocked the door where he gestured her in first.

"Before that," she started, "why don't we have some of those brownies you brought? Since we didn't get to have dessert."  
  
"My thoughts exactly."

Slipping out of the broken shoes, she dropped her keys and purse on the table by the door and headed into the kitchen, shedding her coat along the way.   
  
"Where did you get these anyway?" she called out, carefully unwrapping the pink plastic. "They look homemade."  
  
"And you don't think I'm capable of baking, is that it?" She turned at the closeness of his voice and found him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed. She gave him a knowing look and he hung his head with a laugh. "Truth be told, I found them in the foyer on my way out. A gift for my brother from your friend Bonnie."  
  
"You stole his brownies? Klaus!"  
  
"Believe me, love. They'd have gone to waste at the rate those two were going."

Her nose scrunched adorably. "I didn't need to know that, thanks."

He shrugged with a smirk and walked back out to sit on the couch. In moments Caroline was beside him and they both indulged in the chocolatey goodness the witch had conjured. They tasted like fudge and magic, and something indecipherable to their tongue, but their bodies and braincells would soon understand...

 * * * * * * * * * * 

 _An hour into_ Finding Nemo  _later..._

Caroline and Klaus were both open-mouthed gaping at the screen as the school of fish took formation into a swordfish.

"How do they know to do that?" Klaus wondered aloud.

"Maybe they plan it," Caroline offered, biting her lip as she tried to figure it out.

Klaus tilted his head with a frown. "They couldn't possibly know beforehand that they would encounter Nemo's father and companion."

"Well maybe they've had run ins before with other fishes."

They both gasped when the fishes turned into an octopus. 

Klaus wagged his finger at the screen adamantly. "No. No, there is absolutely no way possible that they could have pre-planned that." He gasped again as they took the form of a pirate ship. "Did you see that?!"

Caroline giggled and leaned into his side. "Did you see that?" she mocked him, using a very poor version of a British accent. "You're cute."

But he was enamored by the screen, watching the school of fishes take Marlin's shape behind the backs of Dory and Marlin. "That's some sort of magic..."

"Oh is it now?" she went on, continuing to carry the accent. "Are you absolutely certain of it? Would you like a proper cup of tea to go with that?"

He glanced sideways at her through narrowed eyes. "Are you making fun of me, love?"

"I don't know. Am I, _love_?" She grinned, batting her eyelashes.

Klaus laughed. "You realize I can and  _will_ retaliate."

She sat up straighter, pouting her lips. "I'm the immortal hybrid Klaus. Everyone must do what I say or I'll murder them. Threat threat threat threat threat!"

"That's it." She shrieked as he pulled her into his lap and began to tickle her. "All I have to do to mock you is blabber on and on incessantly about insignificant things."

She gasped loudly. "How dare you insult me. I will kill you and everyone you've everrr metttt!" she trailed into more giggles as he tickled her more. 

"I'll grant mercy as soon as you - " His jaw dropped, hands stilling as his eyes caught sight of the paisley rug underneath them. "Bloody hell..."

Caroline giggled and sat up, brushing her hair out of her face. "What?"

“Caroline…the floor is moving.”

“Hmm?” She looked down at the throw under their feet and gasped as the threads seemed to be moving in tandem making little ripples in the carpet. The paisley designs seemed to be moving like fish around one another. “Oh! It looks like water!” She leaned over and reached to grab one of the 'fishes' when she was suddenly jerked back by her other arm. She stared with huge, unfocused eyes at Klaus who was petrified.

“Are you mad?!"

“I want to touch it,” she said simply.

“You can’t touch it!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s the floor, and it’s moving!” He frowned, distressed. “What if it takes you with it?”

Caroline giggled and threw her arms around his neck. “Oh my paranoid wolfy.”

He hugged her back but stared at the floor over her shoulder, terrified.

“Mm.” She hummed, nuzzling his neck. “You smell good.” She rubbed her nose side to side, inhaling his scent all the way up to his hair then back around his throat.

Klaus tilted his neck away with a laugh. “What on earth are you doing, love?”

“Smelling you.” She giggled again and grazed her nose down to his collar and inhaled deeply, letting out her breath with laughter finding herself unable to stop.

Klaus lifted a brow, smiling. “Is my cologne that entertaining to you?”

She shook her head, her face reddening, tears developing at the corner of her eyes. Soon Klaus laughed too, not as heavily and more out of confusion as Caroline’s whole body shook. Her breaths shortened and her laughs grew in volume. Then suddenly she fell back onto the couch, holding her stomach as she kept trying to sigh but each sigh was funnier than the next.

“Th-that’s such-a fuh-hunny s-sssound!” she cried through laughter.

He shook his head helplessly with little trailing laughs. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, love.”

She pressed her lips together hard to try to restrain her laughs but muffled hums slipped out as she sat up. Klaus’ brows raised as their eyes met. The world stopped, the room silenced, both frozen as they stared. And then a loud snort filled the room as Caroline’s laughter returned with a vengeance and she started to fall sideways. Klaus gasped and grabbed her arm, holding her half hanging off the couch.

“The floor!” he cried in horror just before she lost her balance and started tipping back and before they both knew it they were both on the ground in hysterics.

“Oopsie,” Caroline squeaked through giggles.

“Shhhh,” he urged, eyes wide. “Listen.”

She fell silent immediately and they both listened to what they presumed was music.

“Do you hear it?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” she whispered back.

“What do you think it is?”

“The floor,” she teased then burst out into more giggles.

His brows creased and suddenly he was up and speeding into the kitchen, trying to trace the song he was hearing. Caroline sat up, bemused, calling out, "Where'd you go?"

He sped back and stopped before her and she nearly toppled over again. "How did you do that?! You moved so fast!"

He opened his mouth to answer when suddenly the room filled with a bubbly tune. They both jumped and Caroline was on her feet as quick as lightning. She grabbed his arm tightly. 

"What was that?"

"I don't know, I thought it was you."

"I thought it was  _you._ "  
  
They looked around cautiously as the music faded and thought they were in the clear but the sound started up again.

Caroline latched onto him in a panic. "Make it stop."

"How can I make it stop if I don't know what it is?"

Frustrated with his fear, she dropped his arm and walked slowly, step by step, toward where the song was coming from. Her head jerked in one direction as she swore she saw a shadow pass, and then in the other when she felt a chill brush against her from the other. As she approached the door of her apartment, the sound seemed to echo loudly.  
  


_I'm a Barbie girl_

_In a Barbie world_

_Life in plastic_

_It's fantastic!_  
  
  
She snatched up her purse from the table it sat on and dug through what looked like a never ending abyss until she found the source. Her cell phone. She walked back over to Klaus and held it up with a dull expression. He was huddled on the couch, staring at the rug in a trance. Fumbling with the touch screen, Caroline finally answered the call on speaker phone. 

"Hello? Hello? Caroline?"

Caroline dropped onto the couch with a sigh, her eyes focused on the mass of jellyfish on the TV screen. "Whoa."

"Caroline! Hello!?"

"Hi," she responded cheerfully. "Who's this?"

"It's Bonnie..."

"Klaus look!" She hit his arm so he would look at the screen in time to see Dory amidst all the jellyfish. "Can we get a jellyfish?"

"Only if it makes Strawberry jelly," was his response before he went back to staring at the floor in determination. 

"Caroline - are you there?"

Klaus' head jerked. "What's that voice?"

"Bonnie." She held the phone up. "How did you get inside my phone, Bon?"

"Did Klaus take the brownies I made for Kol?"

The two blondes exchanged a glance and answered in unison - "No."

The sound of Bonnie's sigh heaved through the speaker. "They were supposed to be for us. I kind of made them...special."

"Special?"

Klaus grabbed the phone. "If you're accusing me of something then say so."

"Give me that." Caroline snatched the phone back. "Ignore him."

"You two ate the brownies didn't you?"

"YOU ate the brownies!" Klaus called out.

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Bonnie I have to call you back." 

And instead of hanging up the call she dropped the phone on the floor and continued to be immersed in the movie. After a few minutes of silence, Caroline looked at Klaus with a frown.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry." She looked at the table. "Ooh, brownies!"  

 


End file.
